


Finding Grace

by hello_berkeley



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Diners, F/M, Fluff, Gas-N-Sip (Supernatural), Gas-N-Sip Employee Castiel (Supernatural), Human Castiel (Supernatural), Newly Human Castiel (Supernatural), Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Pie, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:28:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hello_berkeley/pseuds/hello_berkeley
Summary: Human and on his own, Castiel finds something he wasn’t expecting when he settles in the small town of Rexford, Idaho.
Relationships: Castiel (Supernatural) & Original Female Character(s), Castiel (Supernatural)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 14





	1. The Waitress

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short series I've been working on during quarantine. It's five, possibly six chapters, and I really love human!Cas and exploring how he adjusts to his new life and all of the things that come along with it. I've enjoyed working on this, and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Castiel hadn't been human for very long, but he was adapting as best he could, given the circumstances. The angels had all fallen and he was to blame. He fell for Metatron's tricks, his _lies_ , and sealed the fates of every angel that had been in Heaven, himself included. His grace had been stolen from him, and now he had to survive without it.

It had taken him a few weeks to get his bearing and adjust, but he had a job now. He was a sales associate at a Gas-N-Sip, and took his responsibilities and duties just as seriously as he had his duties as a Seraph.

He helped customers, restocked shelves, and even prepared the hot food if his manager, a kind woman named Nora, wasn't in the store.

At first, he'd been sleeping on the streets. Then it was the store room of the Gas-N-Sip. But now he could finally afford to pay a weekly rate to stay at a motel nearby. As run-down as it was, and as lumpy as the mattress may have been, Castiel was thankful to have a roof over his head and somewhere to go.

He settled into a routine. On the days he worked, which were more frequent than not, he'd get up early and take a shower. Having to practice good hygiene and proper self care was new to him, but he found it to be relaxing sometimes. He would get dressed and grab his blue vest that had his name tag pinned to the front, and remind himself that he had to answer when people called him _Steve_ , and not the name God himself had given him. With one last glance in the mirror, Cas would take a deep breath and walk to work, a smile already on his face as he'd greet his manager.

Castiel enjoyed his job immensely. He liked the customers that came into the store, and the delivery people he got to see regularly. So when he got back to his small motel room at the end of his shift, his feet aching or his back sore, he didn't mind. It was part of being _human._

It was a Thursday afternoon in early spring when Castiel fell unexpectedly into a part of being human he had yet to experience.

He was busy restocking the beverages in the refrigerators when the bell above the door chimed, signaling that a customer had come in- the first time he'd heard it in nearly an hour. He glanced over his shoulder without really looking and called out a greeting, welcoming the customer and telling them to let him know if they needed anything.

The former angel was so focused on his task he didn't hear the footsteps that had approached him, nor had he heard the quiet " _Excuse me?"_. But when he felt a tap on his shoulder, he immediately jumped and dropped the armful of sodas he had been loading onto the shelves, his eyes widening as he watched them fall in what seemed like slow motion.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you," came a voice as Castiel dropped to the linoleum floor, quickly picking up the drinks and setting them with the rest of the drinks he had yet to shelve.

"It's no problem at all-" he started, turning to face the customer but stopping in his tracks, his mind going blank as he stared at the woman in front of him.

She had the most beautiful green eyes he'd ever seen.

Castiel blinked, taking in her features. She had a small, uncertain smile on her full, pale pink lips, and a dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Her hair was golden brown, and fell in long waves around her shoulders, but it was clipped back and out of her face. He noticed that she was wearing a uniform from the diner across the street, and he wondered briefly if he'd seen her there before. He liked their pancakes.

"Again, I'm really sorry if I caught you off guard," her dark, well-shaped eyebrows furrowed as she squinted at his nametag, "Steve. I was wondering if you guys have any phone chargers? My phone's about to die and I _just_ started my shift across the street."

"O-of course, here, let me show you. We have a few, and I don't know what kind of phone you have-" Castiel rambled as he pulled himself out of the refrigerator and closed the door. He led her down the aisle towards the register, where the chargers were kept, wondering to himself why he was acting like this. Wondering why her voice was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard.

"It's just an iPhone, so anything that works with that is fine," she flashed him a polite smile, momentarily stunning him.

Castiel nodded, unable to say anything in response as he turned and fumbled through the cables until he found one that would work for her.

"H-here you go," he said, holding the package out to her. "Is this one satisfactory?"

He wasn't prepared for their fingers to brush as she took it from him, and he didn't miss how soft her skin felt against his.

"It's perfect!" she beamed, her eyes lit up and Castiel could swear they _sparkled_ with excitement. "You're such a lifesaver, Steve!"

She handed it back to him so he could ring the item up, disappearing briefly down an aisle and returning just as fast with a bag of Crispy M&Ms, placing them down on the counter with a shy look on her face.

"These too, please," she said softly, like she was almost embarrassed. "They're my favorite, and you're the only place around that has them regularly."

"I haven't tried these before," Castiel said, looking at the bag curiously before scanning them. "Do you need a bag?"

"Nah, I'm okay," the brunette answered, taking the candy after he set them back onto the counter and tearing off a corner.

She popped a few of the brightly colored candies into her mouth as he read off her total, then grabbed some cash from her wallet and paid. When he returned her change, he had a " _Thanks for stopping in"_ on the tip of his tongue, but she was holding out the M&Ms bag, offering him a sample.

"Everyone needs to try _crispy_ M&Ms just to see how superior they are to the rest of them," she said confidently, like it was of the utmost importance.

"I- okay, if you're sure you want to share with me," Cas answered with a small shrug, and she gestured for him to hold out his hand. When he did, she poured a few into his open palm, and watched him expectantly.

He popped them into his mouth all at once and was pleasantly surprised by their texture and taste. Surprisingly, he liked them.

"Good, huh?" she asked, mirth glittering in her eyes as she slipped a green one past her lips. "Thanks again, Steve. I'll see you around."

Castiel watched her leave the gas station and cross the street towards the diner, realizing that he hadn't gotten her name.

* * *

On his next payday, Castiel had dinner at the diner across the street.

He'd been eating nothing but pre-packaged food from the gas station, so he decided that he needed to have something that didn't come already made off of a delivery truck.

If he saw the waitress there too, well, it was just a happy coincidence.

He walked into the small diner and was instantly reminded of the diners he'd been to with Sam and Dean. It had a similar feel and layout- a countertop where what looked like regulars were chatting with the cook that was leaning through the window into the kitchen, families seated at tables with milkshakes, and a delicious aroma of maple syrup.

"Hey honey, seat yourself!" a woman with graying hair greeted as she walked by with a tray full of food, "Rory will be with you in a sec."

Castiel nodded slowly, watching the woman hurry off before he turned and looked out into the diner.

He chose a seat in the corner by the windows so he could look out of them if things got too much in the diner. He found that sometimes he was overwhelmed in busy places, but he could probably handle the bustle of the diner. Better safe than sorry, though.

"Hi, sorry for the wait! It's just me and Irene tonight- I'm Rory, I'll be taking care of- Oh hey! It's you!"

Castiel looked up to see the brunette from the gas station, his eyes widening in surprise. She was actually there, right in front of him.

"Uh- Hi," he said lamely, and _Rory_ handed him a menu.

"It's good to see you again. Steve, right?" she asked, and Cas couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

"Y-yes. Steve. That's right," he nodded in response, feeling hot all of a sudden.

"Cool, well it's nice to officially meet you! I'm Rory," she laughed, motioning to her nametag. "Can I get you something to drink while you look over the menu? Y'know, we have a chocolate milkshake that's pretty good…"

Castiel nodded again, "I'll have one of those. Thank you for the suggestion."

"No problem! I'll get that started and give you some time to look things over. Be back in a few," she winked, tapping the table with the tips of her fingers twice before flitting off to the next table, a bright smile on her face the entire time.

The former angel heaved a sigh and looked down at the menu, knowing he was going to end up getting a stack of pancakes, so he decided to look around the diner, his eyes skimming over families with small children, the cooks he saw through the large, open cutout behind the counter, and finally Rory.

He watched as she moved easily through the diner, her white tennis shoes gliding across the linoleum as if she were floating. She was wearing an outfit just like she had worn when they first met- a mustard yellow dress that was fitted on top and flared out at the waist, where her white apron was tied in a neat bow behind her back. The top had little white buttons, two of which were unbuttoned due to the warmth of running around the diner, he'd assumed.

Rory came back no more than five minutes later, milkshake in hand.

She set two cups down in front of him and pulled a spoon out from her apron, placing it next to the tall glass filled to the brim and topped with whipped cream and a cherry.

"Usually we're not supposed to make as much extra, but you were so nice to me after I scared the pants off of you the other day," she tapped the metal cup that was next to the glass. "Don't tell anyone I'm spoiling you, okay?"

"I would never," Castiel answered honestly, glancing from the milkshake and back at her.

"You ready to order? I can come back-" Rory started, but Cas shook his head, saying that he was ready.

He ordered a short stack of pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs, and Rory was quick to ring it in.

She checked on him a few times before his meal came, and a couple more after she had dropped his plate off.

"Can I interest you in any dessert tonight, Steve?" she asked, an eyebrow raised as she looked down at him. "We have some of the best pie in all of Idaho."

Castiel's eyes widened when she looked around furtively, then leaned down so she was a little closer and she whispered, "My family's secret recipes."

"I- I'll take a slice of whichever is your favorite," Castiel finally sputtered, unsure of how to behave with her so close.

"One slice of peach pie, coming right up," she grinned, flouncing off to grab it herself.

The peach pie was the best thing Castiel had ever tasted, and he wasn't sure if it was because the pie itself was that good, or if it was because of who had brought it to him.

When he paid the bill, he left some cash and a bag of Crispy M&Ms on the table for her tip.

"Bye Steve! See ya around," Rory smiled sweetly as he left the diner, and he waved goodbye, knowing he'd be back.


	2. Firsts

A couple of days after he had been at the diner, she came into the Gas-N-Sip, this time in a pair of ripped jeans and a sweatshirt rather than her work uniform.

Once he was finished helping the customer he had been assisting, she approached the counter nervously, and Cas wondered why she was staring at the counter rather than looking at him.

"Hello, Rory," he greeted kindly, "How can I help you?"

"Would you like to get drinks with me sometime?" the woman blurted out, and Castiel was shocked.

"I- you want to get drinks with me?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound like he was turning her down. He'd been working up the courage to ask her out himself, but she had beaten him to it. "Are you positive?"

"I'm definitely sure," Rory nodded, and Cas glanced down at the counter before looking back to her, unable to say no to her with the way her green eyes were shining.

"Then I'd love to get drinks with you."

* * *

Castiel hadn't meant to get so drunk during their first date.

As an angel, he'd been able to drink an entire liquor store before feeling any sort of inebriation.

But as a human, all it had taken was three beers.

The night had started off well. They'd met at a dive bar that Rory had suggested, he bought their first round of drinks, and things were going great.

He learned so much about Rory. She was from Boise, her parents ran ski tours in Sun Valley before they retired to New Mexico, and she'd gone to culinary school. He found out that Rory was just a nickname she'd had since she was a kid. Her full name was _Aurora Grace_. She told him that it made her feel like a Disney princess, so she stuck with Rory.

Cas was as honest with her as he could be.

"I used to be very close with my family, but we had a falling out," he'd told her, trying not to let the sadness overwhelm him. "I had structure for years, now I'm just adrift… I guess you could say I'm finding myself."

Rory had told him she could relate and bought them shots, cheersing him before throwing it back and downing the clear liquor.

Cas wasn't sure if he liked the taste of alcohol, but he found himself enjoying the warmth in his chest. He _didn't_ like the dizziness he felt at the end of the night when he got up from the bar stool.

"Are you good to get home by yourself?" Rory asked as they stood outside of the bar, the cool air helping him breathe a little better.

"I- I don't know," Castiel told her honestly, his speech a little slurred as he blinked at her tiredly.

He wasn't sure if she was drunk too, but he watched her frown slightly, her hand settling on his shoulder to help steady him.

She asked where he lived, telling him that she could get him there, but his thoughts were jumbled.

"I can't remember," he answered as he looked up at the streetlight above them, "It's all fuzzy…"

He heard her take a deep breath beside him, so he looked back down to Rory, who was a little blurry to him at the moment.

"Okay. Alright, we got this," she breathed out, "My apartment is walking distance from here. You can crash on my couch. Is that okay with you?"

Castiel nodded, not really realizing what he had agreed to. She took his hand and led him down the street, keeping him stable as they walked.

"I didn't think we drank _that_ much," Rory laughed as she tried to unlock her front door, her head resting against it as the key scraped against the lock. Cas leaned back against the wall beside her.

The next thing he knew, he woke up to the sun streaming in through curtains that weren't fully closed, the smell of coffee in the air. There was a soft, knitted blanket covering him and he felt a pillow under his head.

His stomach churned and he suddenly felt like he was dying. Castiel rolled over on the couch and found a small trash can placed on the floor, as if Rory had known this was going to happen to him. He didn't want to throw up in her house though, so he held it back and slowly got up, pushing the blanket off of him and to the side.

He heard soft music coming from the same place the smell of coffee was, so he followed his senses and wound up in a small kitchen. He found Rory, looking just as tired as he felt, but she was still radiant, even with her messy hair and circles under her eyes. She was wearing a big, fluffy looking bathrobe and worn out bunny slippers, which he thought were cute.

"G'morning," she mumbled, unable to take her eyes off of the coffee maker. "How you feeling?"

"Not great," Cas answered as he leaned against the countertop. "I don't think I've ever been that drunk. I don't even remember coming inside."

Rory turned her attention to him, a frown on her face as she ran her hands through her long hair.

"Yeah, you were definitely gone. I - I didn't think we even drank that much, I was just having such a good time with you…" she trailed off, tucking her chin down shyly. "Sorry it got out of hand and you had to stay here. Maybe we should have dinner before drinks next time."

The way she'd spoken so nonchalantly caught Cas off guard. She wanted to see him again? His confusion must've shown on his face because he heard her giggle as she grabbed two mugs and poured them each a coffee.

"Did you not get the vibe I was getting?" she asked, glancing back at him over her shoulder as she reached into the fridge for creamer. He saw worry flicker across her face and she quickly backpedaled, "If not, that's totally fine- I just.. I had a good time and-"

"I had a good time as well, Rory," Castiel nodded. "I'm not quite sure what a _vibe_ is, but I enjoyed our date last night."

"Even though we got too drunk and you're definitely gonna barf as soon as you get home because you don't want to do it here?"

Castiel froze. How did she know?

"Yes, even with all of that, and you know what? I want to see you again," he told her with a small smile, his eyes catching the time on the oven clock. "But I think I might have to take my coffee to go. I have to be at work in an hour."

Rory's eyes widened and she quickly retrieved a travel mug from a cabinet, pouring his drink into it and letting him fix it to his liking- a lot of sugar and a splash of creamer. He had a sweet tooth.

"Okay, let me just…" she ran her fingers through her hair, getting caught in a tangle and she released a sigh. "Let me grab my keys and I can drive you home!"

He watched her hurry out of the kitchen and he took a deep breath to keep himself calm. She seemed pleased that he wanted to see her again, and as he listened to her fumbling around and the jingling of keys.

"You good to go? Your shoes are somewhere in here…" Rory called from the living room, and Cas followed her voice, almost letting out a laugh when he saw her.

She had changed from her bathrobe into an oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants, her hair was tied up in a loose bun, and she now had black, large framed sunglasses perched on her nose. There was a smile on her face, though, despite how tired and hungover she appeared.

His shoes were beside the couch, so he quickly slipped them on and nodded that he was ready.

Rory dropped him off at the motel, and if she was surprised or put off by the fact that he was living there, she didn't show it.

"Have a good day at work," she smiled softly as she pushed her sunglasses up onto her head. "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"Of course," Cas nodded excitedly, and before he could realize it Rory had leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, then another to his lips before she pulled back.

"Cool. I'll text you later then," she beamed, and Cas got out of the car in a daze.

As soon as he got into his motel room it all hit him at once, and he felt his stomach flip. Suddenly he remembered how unwell he had felt earlier, and he rushed into the bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach.

* * *

By the time they'd gone on their third date, Castiel knew he was in love.

They had quickly become inseparable, one rarely without the other unless they were at work. Even then, he found himself at the diner for his meals and Rory would spend her breaks in the Gas-N-Sip, eating M&Ms and hovering nearby as he worked, or watching him stock shelves as they chatted. Nora had jokingly asked if Rory wanted to put on a blue vest and help him out when she wasn't there.

The staff at the diner all knew him by name, his _fake_ name, and always made sure he was at one of her tables. They'd let him sit for as long as he wanted, and weren't all that subtle when they asked him about who he was or where he'd come from. They wanted to make sure he was good for Rory.

When they weren't at work, they were either at Rory's apartment or out around town. Whenever he mentioned never having done something or a desire to try something new, he could see her file it away in her mind for a later date. So far, they'd done a lot of activities in nature, since neither of them really had money for expensive outings.

The more time he spent at her place, the harder it was for him to justify paying his weekly rate at the motel. When he mentioned it in passing once, Rory didn't hesitate when she asked if he wanted to move in with her. Sure, it had caught him off guard, but it felt right. They'd gone and gotten what was left of his stuff and returned the key that same night.

Living together had been an easy transition. It had gotten to the point where they were so intimately familiar with one another that they'd fallen into a comfortable pattern of domesticity that Castiel had never experienced before.

They'd wake up, Cas curled around Rory, who had kicked the covers off of herself and up onto him, and just lay in the morning light. Sometimes they would talk about what they were going to do that day, dreams they had during the night, or anything that came to mind. Other times they'd just soak each other in silently. Castiel's favorite mornings were when they'd continue with the passionate kisses and gentle touches that they'd shared the night before, resulting in slow, tender morning sex he grew to love and crave.

Being intimate with Rory was something he could never get enough of. It was nothing like the time he had been with the Reaper, and it only got better as they grew closer. He loved feeling her soft skin with his fingertips, and hearing the little sounds she made, small gasps and moans. Something in his brain would short circuit when she'd breathe his name, making him wish she was calling out his _real_ name. It was those times when he felt bad for lying to her about it.

They'd have breakfast together if they got out of bed at a reasonable time, then Rory would drive them to work if their shifts started around the same time. If not, she'd go to work and he'd stay behind, or vice versa. On their days off, they'd go on easy hikes on nearby trails, or they would drive to the river and sit on the rocks, dangling their feet in the cool water.

Castiel would hold her hand whenever he got the chance, and he'd smile every single time she laced their fingers together in response. He craved her forehead kisses and her fingers in his hair, scraping against his scalp _just right_. He enjoyed that she was just as touchy as he was.

He also learned to cook so she didn't have to feed him all the time, even though she swore she didn't mind. He wasn't great, but he learned some simple dishes from online recipes and the cookbooks in the apartment, just so he could give her a break after work or on her days off.

" _I gotta put my culinary degree to use somehow, might as well use it to feed the most handsome man I know,"_ she'd winked at him once while she flipped a steak she'd been basting on the stove, after talking him out of making breakfast for dinner.

They would do face masks and watch Netflix after dinner, while Rory preached about the benefits of self-care and _snail goo_. Cas had no idea what snail goo was or why it was beneficial to put on his face, but he liked when she helped press serums into his skin. He always caught himself admiring the way light caught on her dewy skin and shimmered in a way he'd never seen before.

Once she had told him that he was the only man to ever let her come near him with her skincare treatments, and it shocked him. Who wouldn't want soft skin?

Rory would eventually nod off during whatever they'd ended up watching, and Cas would always rouse her gently and coax her into bed, where they would whisper goodnights and he'd kiss her forehead. She'd groan in fake-annoyance, telling him that he was gonna be the cause of an acne breakout.

"Goodnight, Rory," he'd always reply, pulling her close and smiling as she'd snuggle into him, mumbling a quiet _g'night_.

On the nights he had nightmares and woke up sweaty and terrified beyond belief, she would wake, somehow knowing something was wrong.

She'd talk him through his panic, bring him back to their bed, with her. She would rub his back, hold him close, and wait for him to talk about it if he wanted to.

Cas couldn't tell her about them even if he wanted to. His nightmares were filled with all of the horrendous things he'd done throughout his existence- the angels he killed in war, the people he'd hurt… His time in Purgatory seemed to make an appearance more often than others.

Rory wouldn't press him for details, instead she would have him lay back down and curl up around him so he was the little spoon. She would hold him and draw patterns into his warm skin, soothing him in a way he never knew he needed. He'd try to go back to sleep, but always had trouble trying to settle his overworked mind. If he had done things differently, maybe he wouldn't have helped Metatron cause the Fall. Maybe he would've been able to win the war against Raphael without all of those souls from Purgatory.

Eventually the combination of her steady heartbeat, even breaths against his neck, and gentle touches would lull him back to sleep, and in the morning they'd start their whole routine over again.

Castiel wouldn't change it for the world.

* * *

When he had told her that he loved her for the first time, they'd been stargazing on the hood of her car, two months after they met.

He hadn't been thinking when he said it, but after the words left his mouth he'd never felt panic in the way that he had in that moment. _What if she didn't love him back?_

Instead of laughter, or whatever rejection had been running through his mind, she'd turned and looked at him, a shy smile on her lips and affection in her eyes.

"I love you too, Steve," she answered quietly, and while he was _elated_ , he was upset at the same time.

He wanted nothing more than to hear his name come from her lips, so he did the one thing he promised himself he wasn't going to do when he started his new life as a human.

"My name isn't Steve," he blurted out, not surprised when her eyes widened and she sat up, staring down at him in confusion.

"Did y-you just say what I think you said?" Rory's voice wavered as she spoke, and he hated the look on her face. It was confusion, sadness, and what he thought was betrayal. "You've been lying to me?"

"I- I haven't been completely honest with you," he said slowly, not wanting to alarm her. "Most of the things I've said about myself, my likes, dislikes… That's all true. But who I am… _what_ I am…"

He was uncomfortable under her gaze, so he remained silent for a bit, unsure of how to start explaining things to her.

"So, what _is_ your name then?" Rory asked as she reached out and brushed her fingers through his hair, playfulness in her eyes as she lowered her hand and scratched along his jaw gently in a comforting manner. "I don't really want to keep calling you Steve if that isn't it."

He tried to speak but felt a lump in his throat, amazed at how calm she was. But he finally nodded, working up all of his confidence.

"My name is Castiel," he told her, completely focused on the way her eyes glittered under the night sky.

"Castiel," The woman practically beamed, testing it out. "Why didn't you just say so from the beginning? Are you… a fugitive? Witness protection? Were you a _mob informant?_ "

Her excited voice lowered into a whisper and Cas found himself smiling, shaking his head at how ridiculous she was, even when she was being faced with the fact that he'd been lying to her.

"Not quite… The fugitive part is somewhat accurate, you could say. This is going to sound facetious, but please, hear me out. I am-" he started, but quickly shook his head, correcting himself, "I _was_ an angel of the Lord. I.. lost my grace, and fell to Earth. Do you remember the meteor shower that happened a little while ago?"

Rory nodded, a curious look on her face. She wasn't calling him a liar or running away, so he kept going.

"That was because every angel in Heaven was forced out, and fell as well. Unwittingly I- _my_ grace was used in the spell that cast them out, and many angels are after me for vengeance."

"So, you're telling me that you were an _angel_ , but you're not anymore, and _other_ angels, that are still angels, want you dead?" she asked like she was asking him the weather, or what time it was. "Are there… other things out there? Aside from angels?"

He nodded, listing a handful of what he knew to be the least horrific creatures he could think of, "Yes… There are. Ghosts, witches, vampires, demons, and a multitude of others. My friends are… hunters. They kill supernatural creatures and save people, and I helped them."

"I'm sensing a but?" Rory still hadn't taken her eyes off of him, hearing him out completely and trying to keep him talking when it became difficult for him.

"I couldn't stay with them, so I went out on my own, and it's been hard," he mumbled. "I've existed for _eons_ , and nothing I've ever done has been this difficult. _But…_ being with you has made it worthwhile."

Rory nodded thoughtfully, humming in acceptance as she took his hand and squeezed gently.

"You believe me?" Cas asked as he sat up from the position he had been in leaning against the windshield.

"Why shouldn't I? You've never given me a reason to doubt you before," she shrugged. "You came out of nowhere after that meteor shower. Nobody just _decides_ to live in Rexford. You seem… worldly. Like you've lived so many lives, based on the way you go about things and the observations you make… Even the way you speak, sometimes. I dunno. It seems like it could be true. Plus, there's honestly _no way_ supernatural creatures don't exist. There's too many stories about them throughout history."

Castiel laughed, running his free hand through his hair as he thanked her. It was a huge weight off of his shoulders to be able to tell her who he truly was. There were no secrets between them, and he felt relieved.

"What's _grace_ , though?" Rory asked after they had settled back agains the windshield, only this time she was tucked against his body for warmth.

"It's… energy," he answered thoughtfully, tracing patterns against her jacket-covered shoulder. "It's an integral part of what makes an angel… an angel. It's celestial energy that gives angels access to Enochian magic, which is how I- _was_ how I used my abilities."

"That sounds pretty cool, to have powers and stuff. What could you do?" she asked, and he felt her tense up in his hold suddenly. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to! I'm just curious, is all."

"It's fine, Rory. I don't mind. I could heal injuries and illnesses with just the touch of a finger. I could move objects, enter people's dreams, receive prayers, and be invisible to the human eye. I could fly, and be anywhere in the blink of an eye," he smiled fondly as he remembered instances of all of his powers. "I could travel through time and space. It seemed innate and so… normal during my eons of existence. But now, I think I took it for granted."

"You said you could fly… Did you have wings?"

He glanced down to see fascination clear in Rory's eyes, and he couldn't help but smile as he nodded.

"I did. Angels are enormous in Heaven, it's hard to describe their forms. But on Earth, in this body, my vessel... They were black, but humans couldn't perceive them, except as shadows when I willed them," Cas explained, a small frown on his face now. "I miss them."

Rory sat up and moved so she was straddling his thighs, blocking out his view of the stars so he could only see her, but he didn't mind whatsoever. Her glittering eyes were better than the stars above.

"Is there a way for you to get your grace back?" she asked quietly, taking both of his hands with hers and twining their fingers together.

"I don't think all of it was used for the spell, but… even if I could get it back, I'm not sure if I would," Cas mused. "I like my new life, and I think I'd like to spend it with you, if you don't mind."

He watched her eyes light up and fought back a smile when a small gasp escaped her lips.

"I wouldn't mind that at all," she answered as she leaned down, her hands letting go of his so they could rest on his jaw. "You know, you— you're the first man I've ever said ' _I love you'_ to."

Cas was surprised by how passionately she kissed him, and just as surprised with himself when he returned her fervor.

"What do you say we head back home?" Rory asked when she finally pulled up for air, and Cas could only nod in response, unable to form a coherent thought other than how much he loved her.


	3. Care

"Have you been reading about the disappearances around town?" Rory asked as she set the day's newspaper down in front of him. She'd spotted the headline on the front page and picked it up from a table after the customer left.

She was closing, so Cas had been eating pie while she cleaned tables and rolled silverware while her last few customers finished up.

"I have… Do you think they're related?" he asked, glancing down at the paper and shoveling another bite of boysenberry pie into his mouth.

Rory shrugged, taking a seat across from him and grabbing a bite of pie for herself, "It seems like the police think so. You know, there hasn't been a disappearance or murder or _anything_ here in years."

Cas read and reread the article, knowing in his gut that this was a case for Dean. As much as he didn't want to get involved, or to draw any attention to himself, he knew he had to call and let him know.

"I need to make a call- I'm just going to step outside for a second, okay?" Cas told her, and Rory nodded absently as she focused on the silverware in front of her.

Outside and off to the side of the entrance to the diner, Castiel took his phone from his pocket and called Dean. It took a few rings, and he briefly considered calling another one of his numbers when the line connected and a gruff " _Hello?"_ filled his ear.

Cas greeted his friend before quickly filling him on the potential case in Rexford, and when he was done laying it out and promising he'd send online articles when he got the chance.

Dean said he'd take a look at it and see if he could get out there, then asked Cas how he was doing.

"I- I'm doing well, Dean. I really like life here," he answered, glancing into the diner and spotting Rory, her back to him as she brought her last customers their check.

" _That's good to hear, man. I really hope this isn't our type of thing, but if it is, I'll take care of it,"_ Dean told him, and Cas nodded.

They spoke for another minute or so, and hung up. Castiel sent Dean the links he had been collecting on his phone, and hoped that there wasn't something supernatural going on in town.

He took a deep breath and headed back into the diner, his eyes immediately seeking out Rory and he forgot everything he had been thinking about when he saw her look up from the menus she'd just stacked and wink at him.

"I just gotta lock everything up. You ready to get out of here, babe?" she asked, and he nodded, a small smile on his face.

After he'd told her his real name, she refused to call him _Steve_. In private she called him Cas or Castiel, which always sent a tingle through him. But in public, she preferred to use pet names. It started with _babe_ , then once she figured out he liked it, she started trying out new ones, gauging how he liked them and keeping the ones he liked best.

Rory had called him _love, dear, handsome,_ and _Cheez-Whiz,_ after he'd accidentally filled his entire mouth with the stuff the first time he tried it. She had accidentally called him _angel_ once as they were doing the dishes, but she quickly apologized and he brushed it off, telling her that he preferred _Cheez-Wiz_ as he flicked bubbles at her, slip-up forgotten.

The first time she called him _Honeybee_ , she'd been putting on perfume and talking about how he was always attracted to sweet things- sweet smells, sweet foods, _being_ sweet. He nearly cried, and his suddenly glossy eyes had caught her off guard. When she asked what was wrong, he told her about how much he admired them and spent a lot of time watching honeybees when he had gone through a period of his life where he wasn't _quite himself._ Rory didn't need to know that he'd taken Sam's scars from Hell upon himself and suffered from it greatly. He could tell she was worried, so he merely smiled and told her it was his favorite pet name she'd given him.

"So how'd your call go?" she asked as they drove home. Cas had offered to drive, and she gladly let him, tired from her long day.

"Better than I expected. I sent him the articles about the disappearances and he said he'd take a look. If it seems supernatural, he said he's going to come and help."

"That's reassuring," she nodded, "I know you want to look into it yourself, but I'd feel better if you had someone with you."

When they got through the front door, Cas found a text on his phone from Dean, saying that he would be on the road in the morning.

* * *

Dean and Rory got along surprisingly well. Cas hadn't been sure of what to expect when the two met, but he had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with the fact that she made amazing pies.

The Winchester had been more than surprised to find that Castiel had gone and got himself a girlfriend since he'd last seen him.

"Holy crap she's hot, Cas. What exactly does she see in you?" Dean asked as they sat across from one another at the diner, stuffing his third slice of pie into his face.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he shrugged in response. "I'm still trying to figure that out."

"He has good table manners, for one," Rory laughed as she came up to their table, asking what flavor he'd like to try next.

"Whatever feels right, Ror," Dean grinned as she filled up his coffee cup. "Actually. What's his favorite? Bring me that."

Rory lit up in response, her eyes gleaming as she looked at Cas before returning her attention to Dean.

"Peach blackberry coming right up."

She sauntered away, and Dean watched until she disappeared into the kitchen. Cas didn't like the way his friend was watching her, and voiced his opinion lowly.

"Dean, I don't appreciate you looking at Rory like she's a piece of meat."

The hunter's familiar laughter filled the diner, and Dean shook his head, wiping at his mouth with his napkin.

"I'm just feeling her out, Cas. She already passed my monster tests, so I gotta make sure she's serious about you. I just don't want what happened last time to happen again. But don't worry. I'm not gonna steal your woman," Dean shrugged, before a smirk crossed his lips, "I might rethink that, though. Her pies are like a gift from God."

Cas frowned, and Dean shook his head, "Wrong choice of words. But you get what I'm saying."

"Could you at least stop flirting with her?" he asked, shooting his friend a pointed look when he got an innocent look in response. "You thought I didn't notice?"

"Relax, I'm making sure she's as into you as you're into her, and it seems like she is," Dean winked, "Not many women are able to resist the charms of Dean Winchester. But her? She hasn't given me a second glance. She looks at you like the sun shines out of your ass."

"Contrary to what you may believe, you aren't every woman's type," Rory interrupted, playfulness in her voice as she set a plate down in front of Dean. "Your face is a little _too_ symmetrical for me. It's very _Uncanny Valley_."

Dean let out another laugh, "Now that's a first. I think she's a keeper."

"Glad you approve, Dean," she answered with a dramatic roll of her eyes before focusing on Cas, using her thumb and pointer finger to tilt his chin up to look at her. "You good? Need anything, love?"

The suddenly soft look on her face and genuine concern in her eyes shocked Dean, but he knew that sometimes Cas needed to be asked those kinds of things directly. Cas wasn't forthcoming with his emotions or needs, and hell, neither was he. What was equally surprising was the way his friend nodded and asked if he could get a plate of hash browns.

Rory patted his cheek, kissed the top of his head, and told him that _yes, of course_ he could have that. And judging by the look she gave him before she walked away, Dean knew she'd give him whatever he wanted, no matter what it took.

She was out of their line of sight in an instant, and Cas finally seemed to remember that Dean was there, his face flushed with embarrassment at his entire exchange with Rory being watched so closely.

"You got it bad, man. So does she, but I've never seen you like this. You're really happy here, huh?"

Castiel nodded, "I am, Dean. I.. I hope that these disappearances _aren't_ something we handle, because I just want to move on. I have something good here. Something that isn't affected by demons or vampires or _angels_."

"I want you to have this life," Dean told him honestly, "After everything you've done for me and Sam, you deserve it."

"Thank you… I really appreciate that," Cas said warmly, and Dean brushed it off quickly, mumbling something about _no chick flick moments_ as Rory came back with a fresh glass of lemonade in her hand.

"Saw you were empty, figured you'd want a refill," she explained as she placed it in front of Cas. "I poured some extra sugar and that peach flavoring in there for you, Honeybee."

"You read my mind. Thanks-"

" _Aurora Grace!"_

Rory whirled around, her cheeks bright red when she heard her full name.

Irene was standing beside a table that needed to be bussed, an expectant look on her face and her arms crossed over her chest as she looked at the younger woman.

"I know your man and his _very handsome_ friend are here, but that doesn't mean you can ignore cleanup," Irene chided, and Rory quickly started stacking up empty plates and carried them to the kitchen.

"Aurora Grace, huh?" Dean asked with a raised eyebrow. "Y'know, you might've lost your angel grace, but it seems like you've found a new one here."

"I guess I have," he nodded thoughtfully.

* * *

After Rory's shift was over the three went to the local dive bar where Dean had practically begged to play pool. Cas didn't know how to play so Rory indulged him for a while, letting him have his fun as she learned more about him.

Castiel was constantly surprised by Rory and tonight was no different. He figured that while she was keeping Dean entertained, he would be relegated to the background to watch in silence. Instead, he found himself being engaged in their conversation, pulled close to the table by Rory's questions about his time on the road with Dean, but still out of the way of their shots.

Every time he'd try to move away from the pool table and out of a conversation he thought he had no business being part of, Rory would gently nudge him back with her shoulder, stealing a kiss and flashing a smile before turning to take her shot. It was her own way of keeping him involved in their chatter.

Cas noticed Dean would prod her for information about herself, asking innocent questions about her life, then following up so he could get to what he was really after. He wouldn't be surprised if Dean ran a complete background check on her later tonight.

"C'mon Dean, I thought you were supposed to be _awesome_ at pool," Rory teased after he missed a shot, and Cas laughed when the man ran a hand over his face in embarrassment.

"Kinda hard to concentrate with a pretty thing like you watching," he winked back, and Cas watched Rory roll her eyes and flip him off.

"Your eyes should be on the felt, Uncanny Valley," she told him as she lined up her next shot, "Because I'm about to take you down a peg or two."

She did in fact knock Dean down a peg, beating him not once, but twice, prompting him to buy them all the next round of drinks. Rory made him promise it'd be beer, rather than whiskey or shots, and he reluctantly agreed.

While Dean was off at the bar, Cas thanked her for suggesting beers, knowing he didn't want a repeat of their first date. She was in the middle of telling him it was no problem when her phone began to ring, and Cas watched her glance down at the screen, her eyes widening as she swore.

"Shit. It's my mom. I told her I'd call after my shift. If I'm not back in five minutes, come get me," she kissed him quickly, then took off through the bar, answering the phone as she went.

Three beers were set in front of him and Dean came into view, a curious look on his face as he asked where Rory went.

"Her mother was calling. She went outside to answer it," Cas explained with a small shrug, picking up his beer and tilting it towards Dean in a cheers.

"Are you good here? It looks like you've got a great thing going for you. Why don't you just let me handle this stuff tomorrow?" Dean offered, but Cas shook his head.

"I'm great here, but I have to help if something's not right, you know that."

"All I'm saying is that maybe you should keep laying low," the Winchester shrugged in response, "If things go sideways, you're not as indestructible as you used to be, you know?"

"It'll be fine, Dean. I understand my limitations-"

Dean quickly cut him off, asking if he _really_ understood.

"It's not just you that you have to worry about, Cas. It's her, too," he explained. "I don't want to have to explain to that girl how you put yourself in harm's way and got yourself killed."

Castiel didn't know what to say to that, but he didn't have to answer when he saw Rory making her way through the bar and back towards them.

"Sorry about that," she quickly apologized as she got to them, standing beside Cas and squeezing his upper arm gently. "So what'd you get for us, Dean?"

Dean immediately launched into why he chose the beer he did, and Cas let out a small sigh of relief. He didn't know how she had been able to tell they'd been in a tense conversation, but he was thankful she'd diffused it with ease.

By the end of the night Cas was a little buzzed, so Rory took the initiative and offered to drop Dean off at his motel.

"I'd offer to put you up, but I don't think you'd like sleeping on my couch," she laughed as they all got into her car. "Though I think it's pretty comfortable. Cas had no complaints the first time he spent the night on it."

"I wouldn't want to intrude. Plus it isn't often that I get a motel room to myself," Dean grinned from the back seat, "I can't wait to get some _me time_."

"Gross," Rory mumbled, and Cas chuckled as she started the car and they were off.

* * *

Over the next few days, Dean and Cas investigated the disappearances. They hadn't gotten any closer to finding the cause, until Castiel was babysitting for his boss while she was on a date.

He had been so close to dying at the hands of Ephraim, the Rit Zien angel who had been responsible for the deaths in town, but Dean had come through at the last second and saved his life.

Sure, he had been close to dying when he was an angel, and he _had_ died before, but he always ended up being brought back. He was grateful to Dean for once again saving him, only for it to be brushed off.

" _No need to thank me, Cas. Just live your life with your girl. Be happy, okay?"_ Dean had told him as he dropped him off at his and Rory's apartment. " _Have her send me a pie every once in a while."_

Rory had lost it when he came through the door, battered and bruised, but calmed down when he reassured her that he was okay and that the angel that had been killing people was taken care of.

He didn't miss the sad look in her eyes when she cleaned the blood off of his face with a warm washcloth, and he noticed that she hovered around him more than usual in the days following the incident. It didn't bother him, but she didn't need to be as worried as she was.

"I'm okay, I promise," he finally told her as she prodded gently at his wrist. It was still covered in fading bruises, and he could see that she was concerned. "It doesn't really hurt anymore."

Rory pinched him playfully, rolling her eyes as she huffed, "Just let me baby you, okay?"

"Why?" Cas asked, curiosity in his voice rather than annoyance. He wasn't trying to be rude or unappreciative. He just wanted to understand. Normally, Sam and Dean dealt with their injuries and went about their lives. They'd stitch each other up or pop dislocated shoulders back into place, have a drink, and be done with it.

They had curled up on the couch together, and Rory moved so she could face him straight on, her green eyes focused in on him intently.

"Because I love you, and want to take care of you," she explained like it was the most obvious thing. "That's what partners do. So, let me do this? If- if it's too much and I'm smothering you, I'll stop. Just let me know, I won't be mad."

He finally nodded, and Rory grinned in response before she laid back down. She moved him so that he was laying flat against her chest, and she ran her fingers through his hair, gently scraping her nails against his scalp. Cas hummed and closed his eyes, letting himself relax and listen to Rory's heartbeat and the show that they had been watching on TV.

"Thank you, for dealing with the angel that was causing those disappearances," she said quietly, continuing to scratch his head. "I know you said you didn't want to get involved with that kind of stuff, but you did it anyway. You're stronger than you think, Honeybee."

Cas could feel the words rumbling through her chest, and he felt completely at peace.

They remained on the couch for hours, watching whatever movie was on TV and just being in each other's presence. Around 2 a.m., Cas opened his eyes and blinked tiredly, realizing that he had fallen asleep. He glanced up to see that Rory was sleeping too, so he carefully tried to get up, only to wake her in the process.

"Hmm, was I asleep?" she mumbled, rubbing her face tiredly. "What time is it?"

Cas glanced to the clock, telling her that it was 2:34 a.m.

"Want to go to bed?" he asked and she nodded, following him as he got up and led her to the bedroom.

While he quickly stripped off his t-shirt and stepped out of his jeans, he watched Rory try and pull off her sweatshirt, only to get stuck halfway through, her head caught in the material.

" _Caaaas_ ," she groaned, waving her arms at him helplessly. He laughed, quickly helping her out of the hoodie. Once she was free, she quickly changed into a big t-shirt and crawled into bed, and Castiel wasn't far behind her.

Rory's back was pressed against his chest and Cas took a deep breath, knowing that he had finally made up his mind on something he had been thinking about since Dean had come to town.

"You know how I told you that I could get my grace back, and you asked me if I wanted to?" he asked quietly, unsure if she was still awake.

She hummed in acknowledgement, nodding against the pillow.

"I wasn't sure then, but I've decided that I don't want it back. I'm going to remain human, with you," he told her, smiling when he felt her squeeze his hand she had been holding onto.

Rory looked back at him over her shoulder, a smile on her lips as she said, "That means the world to me, Castiel. _You_ mean the world to me."

As he drifted off to sleep, Cas thought about his future with Rory, excited to spend the rest of his now human life with her.


	4. Goodbyes

Castiel couldn't help the terrible feeling in his stomach as he left work and crossed the street to the diner. He greeted Irene with a tight smile and took a seat at his usual table, keeping an eye out for Rory before pulling out his phone and looking at the note app he had typed things into earlier.

He had overheard something on the radio at the gas station about a glee club that had murdered a biker gang, and after he read an article about it online, he knew it was angels. He knew that he had to do something about it, and that meant he had to leave Rexford, and leave Rory.

It wasn't really what he _wanted_ to do, but it was his fault the angels fell, and innocent people were dying because of it. How was he going to tell her?

A mug came into his peripheral and brought him out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Rory with a gentle smile on her face, almost like she could feel his inner turmoil.

"Hot chocolate with milk, not water," she also set a napkin full of marshmallows down in front of him. She knew he didn't like them getting too mushy. "You seem like you could use it. I have a ton of tables, but if you need anything, flag me down, okay?"

He nodded and Rory was gone before he knew it, off to greet the table of eight high school students that had just been seated.

Cas sipped at the drink, letting the hot liquid warm him up as he watched Rory as she took orders and laughed at their jokes. He'd seen some of the kids before, so she must've known them by name.

She was so caring and thoughtful, and he knew that what he was going to do would probably hurt her. Rory didn't deserve that, and he didn't deserve her.

Customers kept her busy up until her shift was over, and little was said between them until they got back to the apartment. Cas drove them home since Rory was exhausted. She dozed off on the way, and he'd had to gently wake her when they arrived.

He'd asked if she wanted to go to bed. It had been a long day and as much as he needed to talk to her, he wanted her to rest. But she shook her head, telling him that she knew something was off with him, and they could talk if he wanted.

"You've had something on your mind all night," Rory said as she washed her face, catching his gaze in the mirror as he stood in the doorway behind her. "Let me just get this makeup off and we can talk about it."

He was sitting on the sofa when she came into the living room wearing one of his t-shirts and a pair of underwear. She quickly sat at the other end, facing him hesitantly.

"So what's up, Honeybee?" she asked as she tucked herself under a soft throw blanket. "You've been quiet, and it's kinda stressing me out."

"I- I have to leave," he blurted out, trying not to watch the look of surprise and disappointment cross her face. "Angels are killing other angels, and there was a massacre in Wyoming. I have to see if I can find out why, and if I can help put a stop to it."

The room was silent, and Cas saw her looking everywhere but him as she played with the edge of the blanket. His heart was racing and he leaned forward, trying to take her hand in his only for her to pull back and tuck her hands in her lap, out of his reach.

Cas waited for her to yell at him, to tell him he was making a stupid mistake like Dean would have, but she didn't look angry at all. He could see her green eyes glossed over with tears and his chest ached as they finally started to fall.

Rory quickly wiped at her face, nodding as she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"I had a feeling this would happen," she said quietly, her voice wavering slightly as she spoke. "You're always gonna do what you think is right, and I love you for that… Even if it takes you away from me."

He tried to explain that he didn't want to leave, that he wanted to stay with her and ignore the feeling in his gut that was telling him to go and help if he could.

"I'll be back, Rory," he told her, making her a promise he fully intended to keep, "You have my word. I just want to see if there's anything I can do, and then I'll come back to you."

She shook her head, a sad smile on her face as she laughed.

"You don't have to promise me anything, Cas. I know you'll do what you think is right, and if that's to come back, then I'll be here."

Castiel sighed and told her that she didn't have to do that. She didn't have to wait for him, but Rory was adamant about it.

"There's no one else for me, so do what you need to do."

She was so understanding, he thought to himself, wondering how he had gotten so lucky. When she asked when he was going to leave, he had answered that he was going to get on the first bus out of town in the morning.

"Okay," Rory said before she took a deep breath and pulled the blanket off of herself, grabbing his hand as she hopped off of the couch. "Let's curl up in bed and get you a bus ticket."

* * *

Their goodbye the next morning had been quiet. They were both exhausted from staying up most of the night split between being intimate and talking, so there wasn't much fanfare as the sun filtered in through the curtains.

They showered together and then Rory made scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast. While he ate she made a couple of sandwiches and packed them in a paper bag for him to have later.

Cas soaked up the indescribable feeling he got from being in her presence. He leaned into her touch every time her fingers grazed his skin, whether it was brushing his messy, still damp hair out of his face, or cupping his cheek as she kissed him.

Rory helped him pack a duffel bag, folding his things neatly and keeping her favorite shirt of his, claiming that he'd have to come get it if he wanted it back.

"You don't need to hold my clothes hostage for me to return to you," he'd told her honestly, admiring the blush that covered her cheeks as she mumbled that she was going to keep it anyways.

She drove him to the bus station and asked one more time if he was sure this was what he wanted to do. Cas knew she wasn't going to try and convince him to stay- she just wanted to make sure _he_ was sure. When he told her yes, she simply nodded.

They got out of the car and Rory pulled him into a tight hug, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I'll see you soon," he promised, pulling away and kissing her sweetly. "I have to go- the bus is already starting to board."

"Love you," Rory beamed, giving him one more kiss before letting him go. Castiel returned her _I love you_ with one of his own, and then he quickly made his way to the bus.

Once he was on and in a seat, he peered out the window to see Rory leaning against her car, her large sunglasses covering her eyes, so he couldn't tell if she saw him. He waved, and was surprised when she waved back, a small smile on her lips as she watched until the bus departed, and Cas couldn't see her anymore.

He leaned back in the uncomfortable fabric seat and took a deep breath, hoping he'd made the right choice.

* * *

Months had gone by since Cas left Rexford to investigate the angel-on-angel violence, and one thing after another kept him from returning to Rory permanently. They had been in somewhat regular communication, texting and calling when they could, and he had been back a handful of times when he was able to.

A lot had happened over those months, and in his quest to stop Metatron and make things right, he stole another angel's grace and was no longer human. He'd been an angel again for a few weeks and he still hadn't told Rory. The timing never seemed right, and the guilt had been eating at him.

The next time he saw her in person was when he made it back to Idaho for her birthday. Cas surprised her at the small gathering at her apartment with flowers and a poorly wrapped box containing a candle in a scent she loved, replacing the one she had burned through when he was there during his last visit. She had immediately noticed that something was different, and he knew he'd have to tell her what he'd done after her friends left later that night.

He was worried that he'd ruined her birthday, which had been spent surrounded by a small group of her friends that he'd met before. They were all nothing but kind and welcoming to him, asking him how his work travels had been. Rory had told them that he was doing regional work for Gas-N-Sip, and he'd easily gone along with the lie.

The dinner had been full of laughter and her friends told stories about her from their experiences over the years, and he was so full of love for her as he watched embarrassment and amusement wash over her face in waves. He even joined in, telling a story about how she had almost gotten them kicked out of a museum for getting too close to the art.

Cas had missed being with her, living a life he'd never imagined having until recently. But in the living room, nestled between the arm of the couch and Rory's side, he knew he didn't belong there anymore. He wasn't human. He couldn't relate to their discussions about work or their kids. He no longer worked at the Gas-N-Sip, so he didn't have anecdotes about his daily life that he could share with these people. They knew nothing of the things he was doing or the supernatural entities he was dealing with.

He was content to listen, though, and at the end of the evening after they'd all washed dishes and put away leftovers, he bid her friends goodnight and thanked them for helping to make Rory's birthday so special for her.

As soon as they were gone and the front door was locked, Rory had him pinned with a gaze that he knew he couldn't avoid.

"There's something different about you, but I can't quite put my finger on it," she said, her green eyes looking him up and down as she grabbed her glass of wine and settled onto the couch, motioning for him to sit with her. "And it's not just that trench coat, and I know I tell you every time, but I _really_ like it. This whole… accountant look… It's hot. You wanna do my taxes?"

Cas briefly racked his brain to try and figure out how much wine she'd had to drink that night, but he could only come up with three, including the one she had in her hand. She'd gone from serious to flirting with him in a split second, and it had been a while since she had looked at him that way. He'd been gone for too long.

He tried to open his mouth and tell her, but seated across from her so closely, he just couldn't find the words. So Rory took it upon herself and kept going.

"You seem… more _I dunno_ ," she said as she sat up straight, gesturing to herself and her posture. "Tense. The way you hold yourself is more rigid. Controlled. You were uncomfortable around everyone tonight, like you didn't fit in-"

It was like a light went on in her mind and Cas watched her face as everything clicked into place.

"You got your grace back."

He couldn't tell if it was a question or a statement. If she was upset or happy for him. So he quickly shook his head, not wanting her to jump to conclusions.

"No, I didn't get _my_ grace back," he answered carefully, "I— I was in a situation where if I didn't steal another angel's grace, I would have been killed. I didn't want to die, so I did what I had to do."

"So… You're an angel again?"

"I am."

Rory nodded, and Castiel watched her brows furrow in thought, her green eyes peering past him. He could see her mind racing, and he could hear her heart beating wildly in her chest.

"Are— are you okay with that?" she finally asked and Cas frowned, unsure how to answer. He hadn't really thought about whether or not he was _okay_ with it, he just did it so he could stay alive.

She must've assumed he was when he took too long to reply, so she shook her head quickly, "I- I'm sure you're happier. That's great!"

Cas watched curiously as she worked herself up, having never seen her like this. Normally she was confident and level-headed, but he understood that this was something she hadn't expected. He didn't expect it to happen either.

"Rory, I'm not glad to be an angel again," he said gently, not wanting to rile her up even more. "I _am_ glad that I'm still alive and able to come back to you, however."

He saw her deflate, her shoulders sagging and her chin dipping close to her chest, hiding her face behind her wine glass so he wouldn't see the redness quickly overtaking her freckled cheeks. She had 107 of them- he'd stayed up counting them all one night.

" _Oh,"_ she mumbled quietly before apologizing, "Well… I just sounded like a huge bitch then. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, insecurity happens," he answered with a small shrug, and Rory narrowed her eyes at him.

"Insecurity, huh? That's what you think it was?" she raised an eyebrow and a small smirk made its way onto her lips. He knew she was deflecting.

"It's normal, _human_ , to feel insecure. I'd never felt it more than when I was just starting to adjust to being human. Then you came along, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it," Cas told her honestly.

Rory gaped at him, her mouth wide open and confusion in her eyes, "I made _you_ feel insecure?"

"At first, yes. Before you, I had only ever been kissed twice, and one of those was by a demon. I knew nothing about relationships or romanticism or love, but I learned that all with you," Cas paused briefly, taking a deep breath before he continued, "If you… If you aren't comfortable with me being an angel-"

"I love you any way you are, Honeybee," she smiled softly, setting her glass down and reaching out for him.

He moved closer, letting her wrap her arms around him and move so she was seated in his lap, snuggled up against his chest.

"You have no idea how much that means to me," he mumbled into her hair in a gentle voice, pulling her closer as he spoke. "I hope I didn't ruin your birthday."

"Having you here was the highlight of my day… How long are you staying this time?"

Castiel hated that she had to ask him that question. He wanted to say that he wasn't leaving, that he was staying with her for good, but he couldn't.

"Things have been relatively quiet in the hunt for Metatron, so I can stay for a few days. I'll have to leave on Monday, though," he finally answered, and Rory nodded against his chest.

She glanced up at him, a small smile on her face as she said, "I'll take it."

Rory quickly grabbed her phone off of the coffee table in front of them, sending off a text and grinning once she was done.

"I just asked Irene if she could get my next few shifts covered. I haven't taken vacation days in forever, and I told her you're in town, so looks like you're gonna be stuck with me."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

Those four days Cas spent with Rory after her birthday only solidified how much he missed being human.

At first he'd felt like a guest, but Rory made sure he was comfortable. She'd hung up his trench coat and suit jacket in the closet, and he'd spent the entire time in t-shirts and either sweatpants, jeans, or nothing at all. She made his favorite foods, but it tasted different now that he was an angel again. Everything was different, even though they had quickly slipped into their normal routine together.

Little reminders that he was an angel, like the fact that he didn't need to sleep anymore, kept him from truly enjoying being at home with Rory, but he didn't let it ruin their time together. His new grace had actually come in handy the second night he was there, when she sliced herself while chopping vegetables. He'd jumped up from the counter and rounded it quickly, taking her hand with his gently and healing her without a second thought.

Rory had stared at him in absolute awe after the bright, white glow had disappeared from where he touched her, and he had quickly backed away, only for her to grab his hand and pull him closer, giving him the most intense kiss he'd ever received in all his existence.

"You're amazing, Honeybee," she told him after, breathless and wide-eyed as she gazed up at him. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that for me… I love you so much."

That same night, they stayed up for a bit after several rounds of love making, talking and cuddling after showering together. He was _insatiable_ and his stamina had _definitely_ gone _way up_ , she'd told him.

"I want to show you something," he told her quietly as he laid against her chest, relishing in the feeling of her fingers carding through his damp hair. "Can we go to the drive-in?"

"It's 3 a.m., Cas, it's definitely closed. Why would you want to go there?" Rory asked curiously, and he shook his head, wanting it to be a surprise.

"It's the only place I can think of where I can adequately show you something."

"Alright, if we're gonna go you gotta get off of me first," she laughed, pushing on him playfully until he got up.

Once they were dressed, Rory drove them to the drive-in movie theater and parked outside the entrance, since the gate that was usually open to let cars in was locked. They snuck in as quietly as they could, and Cas led her towards one of the enormous, white screens that the movies were shown on.

"Stand right here, and watch the screen, okay?" he asked in a low whisper, positioning her a few dozen feet away.

Rory nodded, and Cas quickly moved closer to the screen and turned so he was facing her.

Castiel tried to calm his nerves as he focused on the lights around them, wanting nothing more than for this to go the way he hoped it would.

The lights of the drive-in began to flicker on and off, the light breeze had picked up into gusts of wind, and Cas watched for Rory's reaction. He couldn't show her his true form, so the shadow of his wings would have to suffice.

 _Suffice_ was putting it lightly, based on her reaction.

"Cas…" she breathed quietly, but he could hear her perfectly. "I- they're amazing."

He knew that they were battered, broken, and nowhere near what they should be, but he didn't care because he could see the awe on Rory's face, and that was enough for him.

The wind died down and the lights stopped buzzing and flickering, and Cas walked back to Rory, who met him with open arms that she wound around his neck as soon as he was close enough.

"Thank you," she mumbled into his chest, "It means so much that you'd share this part of yourself with me."

"I'd do anything for you, Rory," he answered confidently, knowing he'd give up his stolen grace for her without a second thought if she asked him to.

She hadn't asked him to do that, though. Rory simply enjoyed their four days together and gave him a teary smile when he had to leave Monday afternoon. He'd been delaying his departure, but the increasing number of messages coming to his phone meant he had to get back to work.

"Keep up on the texting and call me when you get a chance, yeah?" she asked as she buttoned up the front of her work uniform. "I like it when you send me pictures of the stuff you see on the road. Makes me feel like I'm there too."

"Then I'll keep doing it if it makes you happy," Cas smiled, "I know you like seeing the rest stop souvenirs the most."

"I've never seen so many terrible puns on shot glasses before!"

Castiel shrugged on his trench coat, disappointed that he was no longer in a soft t-shirt and pajama pants. Rory had grabbed her keys and her bag, and it looked like they were both ready to go their separate ways.

They headed out the front door and Cas walked Rory to her car, which was only a few spots away from where he had parked.

"Rory…" he started carefully, working up to what he had wanted to tell her all weekend. "I- I understand if this is too much to deal with. I'd understand if you didn't want to be with me anymore."

"And what gave you the idea that I might feel that way?" she asked, her voice full of curiosity as she spoke.

"Nothing, I just… I wanted to let you know," he mumbled in response, glancing away from her and down towards the ground. "Especially now that I'm no longer human."

She carefully set both hands on either side of his face, running her thumbs over his cheeks soothingly, a look in her eyes that he'd seen before after he'd woken up from nightmares.

"It's been hard, yeah, but I'm not just gonna give it up, okay?" Rory leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "It's all worth it, for moments like these. Angel, human, _whatever,_ I love you as you are _._ "

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," he beamed down at her, pulling her in for a deep kiss, not wanting to let her go. "I suppose I have to say goodbye now."

"Never goodbye, Honeybee. It'll always be _see you soon_." Her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck as she smiled, "I love you, and I'll see you soon"

"See you soon," Cas echoed, giving her one more kiss and a tight hug before he opened her car door for her.

Rory got in and buckled up, something she always got onto him for not doing, and waved as she pulled out of her spot and left for the diner. Cas waved back and got into his own car, trying to push back the feelings of loneliness and guilt that were quickly seeping back into him.

* * *

Castiel's phone vibrated in his coat pocket as he drove down the highway, on his way to meet Sam and Dean at the bunker after getting his own grace back. Metatron had gotten away, but he was no longer living on stolen grace.

When he saw who it was, he answered the call immediately.

"Rory?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the road as he tried to control his thoughts. They usually texted one another to see if they were free before calling. It had been a while since her birthday and he hadn't been back since, but they were still in regular communication.

" _Cas- there are people in my apartment,"_ her frightened voice was barely a whisper, and Cas felt his heart stop. " _I- I'm hiding in my closet. I don't know who they are, but I heard them say your name, and they're looking for me."_

"I need you to listen to me very carefully," he said as he pulled the car over to the side of the road. "Are you able to get to your bedside table?"

He could hear her shallow breaths through the phone, and he closed his eyes, trying to keep calm.

"Aurora, can you get to the bedside table?" he asked again, coming off harsher than he wanted, but he got her attention.

" _I- I don't know. I closed the door behind me, but they might hear,"_ she answered quietly.

"When you think it's safe, I want you to get to the table. In the drawer, there's a long, silver blade. It's an _angel_ blade. If one of them tries to get close to you, use it against them," he instructed, glancing around him and getting back onto the highway. "I'm coming to you, okay? I'll be there as soon as I can."

" _Cas… If something happens, I want you to know that I love you,"_ Rory whispered, " _I don't hear anything… I'm gonna try and grab it."_

He could only listen as she quietly opened the closet door. Cas held his breath and before he knew it, her voice filled his ear once again.

" _I got it."_

"Stay hidden, stay silent. I'm going to get to you, just don't panic." He wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure her or himself at this point. "Everything will be okay."

" _Mmhmm,"_ she mumbled, and he could tell that she was distracted.

"Rory?" he asked, trying to get her attention again.

He heard a sudden noise on the other end of the line, followed by a rustling that had him even more on edge than he already was.

" _There you are,"_ a voice he didn't recognize came over the line, and he immediately called for Rory.

" _No- get away- don't—"_ her shrieks filled his ear, and all Cas could do was listen. " _Let go of me!"_

"Rory!" he tried again before yelling, "Aurora!"

" _Come out of there-"_ the rustling cut out some of the voice, " _Ah- She has an angel blade! Help me get a hold of her."_

The last thing he heard was Rory screaming his name, and then the call ended.

Cas turned the car around and sped in the opposite direction, dialing Dean as he fought to control his racing heart.

" _Aren't you on your way?"_ Dean's question filled his ear and the angel held back any and all rude words that came to mind.

"I need you to head to Rory's— angels found her. I don't know what they're planning, what they're going to do to her-"

" _Got it, I'll be on the road in two minutes,"_ the sound of jingling keys and fast footsteps filled his ear, Sam asked something, and Dean quickly muttered that they had to go, then he continued in a reassuring voice, " _Everything's gonna be okay, Cas. We'll get to her in time."_

Castiel mumbled a quick goodbye and hung up, pressing his foot down on the accelerator and wishing that he had the ability to fly again.

He hoped Dean was right.


	5. Divine

Castiel may have had his angelic grace back, but he'd lost Rory in the process and he'd never forgive himself for it.

"C'mon, Cas. You knew her for how long, six months? A year?" Dean asked, and the angel shot him a glare. "We lose people all the time. People we've known for a lot longer. And look, I'm sorry you lost your girlfriend. She was hot and made a mean pie. But you need to have your moment, then put on your big boy pants and move on. Sam and I need you."

" _Dean,_ " Sam warned his brother, a look of disapproval clear across his face.

"She… she was _everything_." Castiel's voice was barely more than a broken whisper as he stared out into the seemingly endless hospital parking lot. "I was going to remain as a human and be with her, but I had to get involved again. They only found her because of her relationship with me. They killed her _because_ of me. She _needed_ me and I couldn't get there in time."

Any and all hopes he had of a human life- getting married, having a family, and growing old with Rory had been crushed the moment he decided to leave town to investigate that angel massacre. He would have to live with that for the rest of his existence.

"I heard her prayers, Dean. The entire time I was driving to get to her, I could hear her voice in my mind, just as clearly as I can hear yours now, pleading, _begging_ for me to get there, to stop them from tying her up, to stop their _torture._ She begged for it to end, and apologized for not being more careful, for not being _strong enough._ It lasted for hours… and then I didn't hear her prayers anymore."

Dean was silent and Cas turned to face the brothers, his brows furrowed as he tried not to think about how she'd been taken from him so abruptly.

"I will do what needs to be done, but there's something I need to know before I can _move on_ , as you so eloquently put it. But I _never_ want to hear you say anything like that about her again," Castiel told him firmly. He wouldn't stand for anyone, let alone Dean, belittling her memory like that. "I'll see you when I return."

The angel got back into his car and drove off, ignoring Dean as he called after him.

* * *

Castiel reached his destination after hours of driving, the sight of the familiar playground causing nerves to run through him.

He approached the sandbox and looked to the young girl and older woman that were nearby, nodding to them briefly.

"We heard over angel radio, Castiel. Go ahead and take all the time you need, it's already been cleared," the girl told him, following with a quiet, "I'm so sorry."

He stepped into the portal and blinked when he found himself in Heaven, and quickly made his way through the seemingly endless hallways.

Cas ignored the looks of sympathy he was getting from the angels he passed by. He hadn't realized it at the time, but her prayers must have gone to more than just him. He stopped outside of a door he never wanted to see, but knew he had to enter.

He quickly glanced at the placard on the door, the engraved letters staring back at him as his chest tightened. Was it possible for a heart to _hurt?_

_Aurora Grace Anderson_

_1986 - 2015_

Castiel took a deep breath and set the tips of his fingers on the doorknob, turned, and pushed it open.

He entered her personal slice of Heaven and closed the door behind him, smiling to himself as he came into her small, cozy apartment.

The soft sounds of music he'd heard before filled the air and he could hear movement in the kitchen, but first he decided to have a look around, to get a feel for when her Heaven took place.

Everything in the apartment was just about the same as it had been the last time he was there with her. The window was cracked open, the curtains blowing gently and he could hear rain falling outside. He thought this seemed familiar, and then he remembered a day just like this. It had been a rainy afternoon and they'd both had off from work, which was rare. He spotted familiar photos of her friends and family lining shelves and he noticed one of the two of them amongst the others, and his heart ached again. He caught the smell of fresh rain, and he wondered if this was that day.

"Honeybee, is that you?" He heard her voice call from the kitchen. "C'mon, I've been waiting for you."

He could never say no to Rory, so he made his way into the kitchen and stopped in the doorway, struck by how beautiful she was in one of his t-shirts and a pair of his boxers, her hair tied up in a messy bun and familiar, ragged bunny slippers covering her feet.

She beamed at him, her verdant eyes glittering as she took in his presence.

"I made pie," Rory announced, gesturing to the delicious smelling dessert on the counter. "Peach and blackberry. Grandma Anderson's recipe, of course. _Your_ favorite."

She sent him a wink, beckoning him with her pointer finger, and of course he joined her.

Rory cut two slices and dished out vanilla ice cream for each of them, only taking a bite after he did.

"Rory, this is divine," he cut off, startling himself with the realization that they were in _her_ Heaven, and not together on Earth.

They were silent for a few moments before Rory said quietly, "I remember this day, and you _definitely_ weren't wearing a trench coat. I— I'm dead, aren't I?"

Castiel nodded sadly, knowing that he really shouldn't be telling her that, but also knowing that he couldn't lie to her.

"It— it's okay, Cas. If you're here, that must mean I'm in Heaven? I wouldn't imagine Hell being my apartment," she said with a roll of her eyes before suddenly tensing up, "Unless it is… And they lull you into a false sense of security with a fake Heaven, before ripping it away and torturing you until the end of time-"

"Yes, you're in Heaven," he confirmed before she could get too worked up, his head tilted to the side as he looked around. "Your personal Heaven… is the rainy afternoon you spent baking pie for me?"

"It's honestly the happiest I think I'd ever been in my entire life," Rory nodded, a shy smile on her pink lips. "We spent the morning in bed, having the most _tender_ , _mind-blowing_ sex ever… I got you to speak, what was it, _Enochian_ , without realizing it. Then after we showered together and you made omelettes from a tutorial you found on YouTube, I knew you were it for me. That I was head over heels in love with you, and there was no going back. I just wish I had gotten to tell you more than the few times I said it out loud."

Castiel remembered _every single time_ she had uttered those words to him, and he would cherish those memories until he ceased to exist.

"It's my fault," he told her. He had to explain what had happened. How it was _his_ mistakes that had led to her death. _He_ was the reason she'd been followed, held captive… Killed by rogue angels in an act of revenge. He should have made sure that her apartment was properly warded against angels before he left. Maybe then he wouldn't have been too late. If he had been able to keep the angels out, he wouldn't have had to find her lifeless body tied to a dining chair in her living room.

"It's okay, Castiel," Rory interrupted him, taking his hand and squeezing gently. She always knew when he was starting to overthink. "I don't blame you. You know, I'd do it all over again, _everything_ , if it meant I'd get to be with you, for however brief of a time it was."

The angel pulled her into his chest, hugging her tightly. He could smell her shampoo, which had actually been his that morning. It smelled like the woods, earthy and calming, and he closed his eyes, memorizing the feeling, knowing that his time with her was limited.

When he finally pulled away, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head before he took a step back, the space between them feeling like miles now.

"I- I love you, Rory. With my entire being. More than I've ever loved anything, or anyone, before, you have to know that," he choked out, "And I'm _so sorry_."

Rory looked up at him, a softness in her eyes that he had seen many times before, "I love you too, Castiel."

She reached out and let her fingers trail along his jaw before cupping his cheek, her head tilting as she admired him.

"I'm at peace now, but that doesn't mean you can't stop by every once in a while," Rory winked. "Not like I'm going anywhere."

"I- I know," he mumbled, leaning into her touch and closing his eyes. "I just wish I could have had more time with you on Earth."

Her thumb traced the stubble of his cheek, and he felt her take a step closer to him. Cas opened his eyes to see that she was only a few inches away now and he was comforted by her presence.

"You have far more important things to do than spend time with me, Cas," she breathed, and he could feel the warmth against his neck. "You have a world to save, people that need protecting."

"What does it matter if I couldn't protect you?"

The air around them was still and they were quiet for a few moments, staring at one another, taking each other in.

"You did your best, and that's all that matters," Rory finally said. "Now, I'm sure you have better things to do than be here with me."

A bitter laugh escaped the angel and he shook his head.

"I have things to do, but they're in no way _better_ than being here."

"Then it's time for you to go, Castiel," she said softly, lacing their fingers together and leading him to her front door.

He let her drag him through her home, _their_ home, memories of the time they'd spent there together filling his thoughts as he tried to focus on the feel of his hand in hers so he could commit it to his mind.

Cas stopped in his tracks before they could get to the door, not moving when she tugged on his hand and Rory turned to face him, curiosity in her eyes.

"What's up?" she asked him, and he couldn't leave without giving her a proper goodbye.

"There's one more thing I have to do before I go-"

He gently pushed her back into the door and pressed his lips to hers, putting everything he could into what he knew would be their last moment together.

Rory reacted quickly, one hand tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck, the other tugging on his tie to keep him as close as possible. He never wanted their kiss to end, but when he could sense she was out of breath he pulled away and pressed one final kiss to her forehead.

"I love you, Aurora Grace. Never forget that," his deep, gravelly voice breaking as he moved her away from the door, his hand on the doorknob.

"I love you too, Honeybee. Now get out of here, you've got a world to save," Rory answered with a wink, and he opened the door.

He took one final look over his shoulder at the woman he loved, her encouraging, bright smile making him want to stay with her forever. But he couldn't, so he nodded once and walked out the door.

Back in the bright lights in the white hallways of Heaven, Castiel let his fingers run over her name plate on the door one more time, fighting the urge to rush back inside.

The angel took a deep breath and closed his eyes tight, counted to ten, and released.

"I'll make you proud, Rory," he promised, before turning and exiting the way he came.

He had work to do.


	6. Coming Home

Years had gone by, and normally the passage of time didn't bother Castiel. But every year, every month, every _moment_ that went by without Rory hurt him so deeply that he knew something had to be done.

He had helped Sam and Dean save the world from God himself, and after saying his last goodbyes to the brothers and giving them the best hunter's funerals he could, he threw himself into helping Jack hone his powers and come into his new role of keeping the universe in balance.

Jack had been a great distraction from his pain, but now that he was confident in himself and his abilities, Cas had more free time to let his mind wander, which was never good.

"What's up, Cas?" Jack asked as they sat in the bunker together. There might not have been any more Men of Letters in existence, but Jack had wanted to stay there. It made him feel closer to Sam and Dean.

The nephilim was working on a puzzle, the pieces slowly coming together to form a picture of an ocean scene, while Castiel had been staring blankly at the pages of the book about beekeeping he'd been trying to read for the past 20 minutes.

"I— I don't know," he answered honestly. "I don't know what to do with myself. I've had a lot of time to think about someone I lost."

Jack's head tilted to the side curiously, and Cas knew that was a sign for him to elaborate.

"A few years before you were born, I was human for a brief time. I met a woman, and I… I have never loved anyone more than I love her," he explained, a small smile on his face as he closed the book. "Shortly after I became an angel again, she— she died. Other angels killed her because they wanted to hurt me."

"You've never told me about her before… what was she like?" Jack asked, "Is she the one in the pictures you have in your room?"

Castiel thought back to the photos of them he had taken from her apartment that now resided in his bedroom and nodded, yes. That was her.

"Her name was Aurora Grace Anderson, but she went by Rory, and she was the brightest moment in my _very_ long life," he said with a smile. "I think she cared about me and my well-being more than her own, and she _loved_ _me_. She loved me with everything she had, and all I did was get her killed."

Jack frowned, his brows furrowed and it looked like he was thinking deeply, trying to remember something, before his eyes widened with excitement.

" _Aurora_ Anderson? I know her!" The nephilim beamed, and Cas felt himself tense up, somewhere between shocked and confused.

"How is that possible? She isn't alive—"

"Remember how you told me that you used to spend time in Heaven, and that I should familiarize myself with everything?" Jack asked, not giving Cas a chance to answer as he excitedly continued, "Well, I spent a _lot_ of time there. I explored everywhere, including people's versions of Heaven. There are _so many_ and they're all _so different_ , but I kept coming back to one that didn't sit right with me, because it was the first time I'd seen someone's Heaven incomplete. She was alone in her apartment, baking pie, and talking to someone as if there was another person there, but there wasn't, and she knew that, but did it anyway."

"Jack—" His tone was warning, but the nephilim continued.

"I spent a lot of time there, in that eternal rainy day in the apartment with her. Sometimes we'd talk, other times I would just watch. She baked this _amazing_ pie that Dean would've loved, and she danced to songs on the radio. She spent a lot of time reading recipes aloud, wondering what she'd make for dinner. Sometimes she would narrate what she was doing like she was on a _Food Network_ show. It seemed… so plain and mundane to be someone's Heaven, especially compared to others I had seen," Jack mused thoughtfully before shrugging, "I knew that she was missing someone she called _Honeybee._ I just didn't realize that someone was you, Cas."

Castiel heaved a sigh, nodding at Jack before he explained that Rory's Heaven was her favorite day she'd spent with him, and he knew that because he'd been there once before.

"Why aren't you there more often? I spent a lot of time there and never once saw you," Jack's tone wasn't rude or accusatory, it was genuinely confused, and Cas shook his head.

"I only went there one time, shortly after she died. I had to know if she ended up in Heaven. But I couldn't return, it would have only caused more suffering," he explained, not sure if he was trying to convince Jack or himself.

"Have you ever thought about just staying there?"

"It was all I thought about for a long time," Cas answered honestly. "But an angel has no permanent place in a human's Heaven. Who knows what repercussions it could have."

"But have you thought about going _as a human?_ " Jack asked carefully, causing Cas to freeze up.

He wanted to say no, of course he hadn't thought of ripping out his grace and letting himself die. But he had, not long after things had started to settle after their final battle with Chuck.

"Yes, I have," he finally answered, relief flooding him as he finally admitted it aloud.

"Cas, if that's what you really want, I'm not gonna stop you," Jack told him honestly. "You've done _so much_ , sacrificed everything, you deserve to be happy. And after the deal you made with the Empty to save me, I don't think you'll ever be able to have that happiness as an angel."

"I want to be here if you need me," Cas tried to reason, "You're still coming into your new role, what if you have questions or need guidance?"

"Then I'll know right where to find you," Jack laughed before adding, "Plus, I've been at this for a few years. I think I finally got the hang of it!"

Castiel glanced down at his hands, unsure of what to say now. He didn't want to leave Jack alone unless he was absolutely ready to be on his own.

"I can do this, Cas, I promise. You've taught me so much, and I'll always be grateful for that. But you've always put me, or Sam and Dean, or basically anyone else above yourself, and it's time you do what's right for you," Jack said before he straightened his posture and cleared his throat, this time his voice sounding a little more authoritative as he spoke, "I'm ordering you to do whatever it is you want to do so you can be happy."

A chuckle escaped the angel before he could think to contain it, and he shook his head at Jack's childlike behavior.

"If you insist, I suppose. You _are_ the most powerful being in the universe, and whatever you say goes, doesn't it?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it does," Jack nodded, playing along.

Since coming into his new role and expanded power, Jack had never lost his childlike wonder or his empathy or kindness. He never lost what truly made him human, and Cas admired that in him. It was a part of his mother that he'd wanted Jack to keep, so he was glad to see glimpses of it in times like this.

"I can bring her back, if that's what you want," Jack offered softly, a knowing look in his eyes, understanding that Cas was hesitant about leaving. "I— I could make her an angel, you could spend eternity together."

"That's very… _thoughtful_ of you, Jack. But I don't think it's fair to rip Rory from her paradise. I'm… tired. If you don't need me, then I have no purpose here. I just want to be at peace."

Jack nodded, signaling that he knew that Cas meant.

"When you're ready, let me know. I'll take you to her myself. She'll be so happy to see you."

The nephilim returned to his puzzle, and Castiel watched him for a few moments before getting up from his chair. He didn't have many people to say goodbye to, so it wouldn't take him long.

* * *

Castiel walked in through the front door, a smile instantly taking over his face as he felt the familiarity wash over him. He closed the door behind him and slipped off his shoes, moving further into the apartment that felt like home.

"That you, Honeybee?" Rory's voice came from the kitchen, and he had to hold back a sob at the nickname he hadn't been called in years.

"It's me, Rory," he called back, kicking off his shoes and heading through the living room into the kitchen. He found her in his t-shirt and boxers, ratty bunny slippers on her feet, just like she'd been the last time he was here.

Her entire face lit up as she saw him enter the kitchen, "Took you long enough!"

Cas wasted no time wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in close, reveling in her presence as he apologized, "I'm sorry- There were some things I had to take care of before I could return to you. But now I'm here for good."

"Don't worry, I know you had a lot going on," she told him as she pulled back and smoothed out the lapels of his trench coat. "Your friend Jack was here pretty often. He's a good kid, he just has a lot on his plate and needed someone to talk to that wasn't involved in all of your stuff."

Rory waved a hand wildly when she referred to his _stuff_ , a smile still on her face, "He always spoke so highly about _Sam, Dean, and Cas_. Every once in a while he'd tell me about something you taught him or whenever you did something stupid. It was nice to hear how you were doing, even if he didn't realize I knew you too."

Cas knew that Jack shouldn't have been interacting with her, or with _any_ human while in their personal Heaven, but he found comfort in knowing that she wasn't alone all of the time... That she had someone to talk to, for however long Jack had been there.

But instead of telling her that, he merely put it aside and gave her a kiss.

"I've missed you, more than you could imagine," he told her as he leaned against the counter, careful to avoid the baking ingredients that were laid out.

Rory followed, peppering his cheeks and neck with kisses, sighing happily, "I missed you too. Tell me about what you've been up to since you were here."

She pushed away from him, motioning for him to take a seat on one of the chairs at the counter.

"C'mon, based on what I've heard from Jack, it's been… a while. Years? Time here is basically nonexistent," Rory raised an eyebrow as she flipped through a stack of recipe cards. "What adventures have you gotten up to?"

Cas shrugged, unsure of where to start. But he wasn't surprised when Rory asked about what had happened after he left and he immediately opened up, starting from there.

As she picked a recipe and worked on the pie she'd decided on, Cas gave her an overview of everything he had faced.

He told her about how he helped stop Metatron from ruling over Heaven, how he'd let Lucifer possess him in his efforts to fight God's sister, _the Darkness_ , and how he'd almost lost all hope and nearly given up when the world was ending, only for the Winchesters to come through and save it all. Cas told her about Jack, the son of Lucifer and a human woman named Kelly Kline, and everything they'd gone through to protect him, to help him defeat God and take over his responsibility overseeing the universe.

Rory listened intently, asking a question here and there for clarification, but for the most part, she just absorbed it as she combined ingredients and mixed them in a bowl. Cas had always appreciated the way she always listened and let him get things off his chest.

Castiel wasn't surprised when she asked how he had ended up here with her, though.

"You said you're here for good… Are you… An angel still? Did you die?" she asked, setting aside the rolling pin she had just picked up and focused her attention on him. "Do angels even go to Heaven?"

"They don't, actually. They go somewhere called the Empty, and it's just eternal _nothingness_. Jack woke me up while I was there and I angered the entity that oversaw it," Cas told her with a shrug, watching her eyes widen.

"You _died?_ " Rory gasped, and he could only laugh at her reaction, nodding as she gaped at him.

"I did— I've died several times before, and I died again so I could come here and be with you."

"You did _what_ now? Castiel," she sighed and shook her head, "I- I'm not worth that. Being here, with me, isn't worth being dead. Based on what I heard from Jack, you had so much to live for!"

"Once God was defeated, after Sam and Dean were gone… I had no one but Jack, and he doesn't need me anymore. There was nothing worth living for," Cas reached out across the counter and took her hand, staring into her green eyes he'd missed so much. "There was nothing for me there, because you're here. Jack asked if I wanted to bring you back, he offered to make you an angel. But I didn't want to steal you from your paradise-"

"It hasn't been much of a paradise without you," Rory mumbled as she pulled her hand out of his only to run it through her long hair. "Sure, it's a great day and I bake and curl up on the couch and the movie selection here is _amazing_ , but it's not the same alone. I didn't want you to have to give your life up to be here with me."

Cas shook his head, thinking back to when Jack had asked him if he was sure about his decision, before he'd filled a vial with his grace and disconnected him from Heaven's host for the last time.

"I don't think I've ever been more sure of a decision in my entire existence," he told her the same thing he had told Jack. "You know, Dean told me more than once that I was different after I'd met you. He said I had _changed_."

"Is that supposed to be an insult?" Rory asked, annoyance clear in her voice, and he quickly shook his head.

"Quite the opposite, actually. He said it in a lot of ways over the years, but he said that the short amount of time I spent with you had made me a better man. Not an angel, but a _man._ After I got my grace back, I still looked at things from a human's perspective, and it affected a lot of decisions I made. I had the ability to be soft… to be _gentle_ and _thoughtful_ when I needed to, and it helped with Jack immensely when he needed guidance. I always wanted the chance to thank you for that, so… thank you, Aurora."

Rory beamed at him, tears in her eyes that were quickly wiped away by her fingertips as she sniffed, and he could tell that she was trying not to cry.

"You were already a good man when I met you, Cas," she laughed, her voice thick with emotion. "I just helped show _you_ just how good you are."

"How can I ever repay you?" Castiel asked as he stood up and rounded the counter so he was standing in front of her now. "You've done _so much_ for me. What can I do for you?"

He watched as she narrowed her gaze thoughtfully, her finger tapping on her chin a few times before she leaned up and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, one of her arms snaking behind him. When she pulled back, she was holding out a recipe box he was deeply familiar with.

"How about you pick what we make for dinner?"

Cas took the box out of her hands and opened it carefully, rifling through them as she went back to the pie, finishing up laying the dough on top for the crust.

"Make sure you pick something special— it's the first night of our eternity together," Rory said, flashing him a glance back over her shoulder.

"Breakfast for dinner it is, then," he grinned, closing the recipe box. "And I'm cooking."

Rory popped the pie into the oven and set her timer, a beat up old egg-shaped timer he'd accidentally set off one too many times, and she turned back to face him, a smile on her face as she told him, "Sounds like Heaven to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I loved writing this story so much and exploring all facets of Castiel is something I really like to do, so stay tuned for more because I've been working on some other stuff!


End file.
